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Your Life is Like

High Fidelity

What John Cusack Movie Are You?

Oh great.......

You Are Most Like Samantha!

For you, dating is the ultimate sportYou're into guys with power, looks, or a lot of money.You rather have a great two weeks than a great forever.But even you fall victim to love from time to time. :-) Romantic prediction: You'll find love in the next few months... But you'll be the last one to realize it.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Very serious.....

I was this close to being late for court this morning. And then I saw him. Nolan is a piece of shit, he treated me like shit, he never really had a job and he’s the definition of a man slut. He once bragged about cheating on me with 69 other girls, in 2 years.

I was walking toward the courthouse from one direction and he was walking from the other, our paths were bound to cross, even if I didn’t intervene, but I did. I purposely walked to the other metal detector so I was forced to walk right past him. I don’t think he noticed me, it has been almost 12 years, but he hasn’t changed a bit. It was scary. Not scary as in something bad might happen, but scary as in I didn’t know what to do with the emotions and thoughts running through my head. We had a roller coaster relationship, most of which I’ve repressed, and it’s not something I’d ever like to revisit but word on the street is that he’s pined after me all these years, made me the gold standard. So when I got back to the office I did some more research to try to find out why he was at that particular courthouse on this particular day. Turns out it was a weapons charge, a "dagger" according to the criminal complaint. And he applied for a marriage license on August 18th. So he’s married now. Only four illegitimate children later. I’m so glad that fate had only one meeting in 12 years planned for us.

Jason went to pick Nathaniel up from daycare today and when he got home he was IN A MOOD. He wouldn’t let me love him or even touch him, he screamed every time I tried to get near him.



After a very small dinner of Manwich and string cheese he was in a bit of a better mood and we played for a while until bedtime. He’s getting so much better about going to bed in his firetruck. He doesn’t cry or destroy his room anymore. Even when he wakes in the middle of the night he doesn’t get out of bed, he just cries out for a minute and goes back to sleep. What a good boy.

Busy day

What a long day. I spent most of the day cleaning, cleaning, cooking and more cleaning. I’m exhausted and I’m almost ready for work tomorrow, just to get a damn break. Nathaniel’s completely out of control, he’s kicking, hitting, scratching and biting any time things don’t go his way. I’ve tried showing how to touch gently and he thinks that’s kind of interesting but it’s not interesting enough to replace the aggressive, angry behavior. I’ve got several scratches on my nose and a bite mark on my arm to show for my motherly love today. Wonderful. Okay, enough of the negative, how about some positive: he’s real cute, that’s all I’ve got. :(

Jason picked up our borrowed Christmas tree from his aunt & uncle today. It’s pre-lit and spins on its base so you can see all the ornaments which is really cool!! Too bad we don’t know where our ornaments are.

None of my internet sales are going well. I added a bunch of my law school books to amazon today and they go for a good price so we’ll see how that goes.

Merisa had her boyfriend over for dinner tonight which went okay but Jason’s having a hard time warming up to him. He’s really pretty nice I just don’t like how dependent on him she is. It’s not his fault, it’s hers, but he’s the easy target. Right now Merisa, Kenny (the boyfriend), Jason and I are all sitting around the basement engaged in various activities but the only ones engaged together are the love birds.

It's been a while

Today was a pretty good day. Jason had to work so it was just going to be me and my little guy but after a brief argument with her boyfriend my sister decided to hang out most of the day. Buddy was good this morning and by noon great grandma was here with her usual Saturday lunch delivery. She brought Taco Hell and I had her order a bean burrito for Nathaniel. Jason said the last time he tried to get him to eat one he didn't want anything to do with it but today he loved it. After that we took him downstairs to the mecca of toddler Christmas and Nathaniel got a sneak preview of all his gifts. I think I must have done well because he thoroughly enjoyed himself. :) After grandma left Nathaniel fell asleep for his nap for the very first time ever in his new bed, what a good boy!! It was however, a very short nap and he was noticeably still exhausted when he woke up. It was near 70 degrees here again today but I was too lazy on my vacation to bother getting dressed or setting foot outside of the house.

Finally dad got home from work. We played for a couple of hours and had a really good time chasing each other around the house. Buddy went to bed at his new and improved (?) bedtime of 8 pm without any fuss.

After Nathaniel went to bed I went back to work on my newest mission, decluttering our house (I'm sure to make room for new stuff, lol) which means listing items for sale on eBay and amazon. I've got 3 items listed on eBay and 29 on amazon. We'll see how that goes.

The KU game started at 10, they're playing in an invitational tournament in Vegas. Tonight's opponent was #1 ranked Florida, the defending national champions. We didn't stand a chance since we lost our #3 ranking to nobody Oral Roberts a week and a half ago. Well we proved all the pundits wrong and after a long, stressful 2 1/2 hours and overtime we beat those bastards 82-80. We're flying pretty high over here. :)

I did find one more thing on eBay that I think I have to have for Nathaniel!! It's local pick up and I just don't think I can pass it up.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=010&sspagename=STRK%3AMEWA%3AIT&viewitem=&item=200051668400&rd=1&rd=1

The Pacifier

I went to pick Nathaniel up from school tonight and he continued to play as usual, lol. Then he got up and walked over to a pacifier lying on the floor. He never took a pacifier, well, maybe once or twice, despite my strict instructions at the hospital NOT to give him a pacifier or formula (they did both), but he's played with and chewed on them, so I wondered what he was doing. There was a teacher in the room that I'd never seen before, usually Miss Jeraka is there alone in the evenings, and she immediately went to him and took the pacifier away which was fine cuz it wasn't his. He proceeded to throw a HUGE fit, screaming and crying, so she gave it back to him and told him to give it to Reagan, it was hers after all. He walked over to the new girl, a tiny little thing, all of 13 months old, and put his empty hand on her arm as if to say "It will be alright" and then gently put the pacifier in her mouth. I melted. My sweet little man. Rough and tumble with Carson and sweet and gentle with Reagan. He's definitely got his priorities straight. :) After I picked him up we went to my grandma's so she could see Nathaniel. She usually comes over every Saturday and brings us lunch. She loves him so much and has had so much loss in the last few years she sees him as compensation from God for what he has taken from her. She bribed me to get us over there with the money to go get a pedicure tomorrow, lol.

Nathaniel ate really well again tonight. I was home alone and we got home late so I made him the pizza sticks Kid Cuisine (I know, two nights in a row, BAD momma!!!) because I know he loves it and I needed him to eat in a hurry. He snarfed down every last bite!!! Well, except for the corn, but even the fruit chews for dessert!! And man that kid is chugging milk lately!!! So much that I had to call my sister to have her pick up a half gallon on her way home tonight!! Then I gave him a quick bath and I actually got to see him blow bubbles!!! What a little daredevil!!! He even gets excited now when I pour water over his head!!! Trying to brush his teeth was a whole other story though, he refused to let me do it and only wanted to do it himself. Since he let me know that by throwing a fit every time I got near him with the toothbrush that ended that pretty quickly. He's got to learn that momma's in charge here, not him.

I'm excited to have Jason finally home tonight. The longest we've ever been apart consecutively is 5 weeks, the last time I went to Europe, and 4 weeks, the first time I went. But that was so different. We didn't have Nathaniel. I miss him but more than that, I miss seeing him and Nathaniel together. It will be such a long weekend and yet so short. He won't be here long and most of the time that he will be here is spoken for. I do however have a "honey do" list as long as my arm. :)

So this will be my last blog until after the wedding. Tomorrow morning I'll take Nathaniel to school and then go get my pedicure. Then I've got to come home and pack for the weekend. I did decide that I'm going to stay with Jason and Nathaniel at Jason's dad's house tomorrow night rather than staying with the bride. I called her yesterday to find out a few last minute things and she gave me the laundry list of people who will be staying at her house tomorrow night. Like 6 other girls!!! She's got a VERY SMALL house and only one real bed. She does have 2 futons and a couch but when she started talking about sleeping bags I got nervous. Then I thought about trying to get ready for a wedding sharing a VERY SMALL bathroom with 6 other girls and that clinched it for me. I called her tonight to tell her, expecting her to try to change my mind but she didn't, thank God.

Good night and I'll see you on Monday!!!

I'm so lucky.........

Nathaniel's never been a very affectionate child. Even as a newborn he didn't want to be held unless you were standing up and moving around but that made the slings and Baby Bjorn really successful. Even when he started giving kisses they were reserved for dad and his teachers at daycare, not for mom. But lately he's become very affectionate. He gives hugs when asked and I can get a kiss out of him about half the time I ask for them. That's pretty good considering I'd kiss him all day long if given the opportunity, lol. Despite the biting he's well-loved by his teachers at daycare. He should be moving to another classroom next week since he turns 18 months on Friday and both of his teachers are beside themselves about it. They don't want him to leave and I think that's so sweet.

Since hot lunch at school today was tuna/macaroni salad I'm assuming Nathaniel didn't eat much but he sure made up for it tonight. He ate every little piece of pasta he could dig out of his spaghetti Kid's Cuisine and he even managed to get a few kernels of corn in there but he was having none of the meat. If he accidently got a bite he promptly spit it out. He was such a mess!! He fed the whole thing to himself and it showed. He started out well with a plastic spork but quickly realized he'd get a lot more food in his mouth if he just shoveled it in with his hands. That made for quite a mess. He even got to eat some of the brownie that came with his TV dinner although mom did have a bite or two. :) Then aunt Reecee gave him a bath during which he squatted down and blew bubbles in the water. I'm guessing he remembers doing that in swim class this summer. Unfortunately I missed it. :(

I had a rough day. Merisa got me sick and my throat is killing me so it will be another Nyquil night which is okay cuz damn, I missed that stuff while I was pregnant and nursing. I went and got my Spanx today and spent $73!!! I got it and my steam pressed dress (which cost me $25 by the way) home and tried them on and needless to say it was a waste of $73. My problem is apparently not in the stomach area, it's in the boob/back department. The last two times I was measured at Victoria's Secret I was a 40C!!! That's the problem, I'm 40 inches around!!!! I'm not that big and I don't understand!! Oh well, I'll suffer through, not being able to breathe, it's only one night.

Jason's dad and his new wife have offered to pick Nathaniel up from the wedding and take him to their house for the night so we can stay at the reception and not go through the pain of sharing a single hotel room with an easily woken baby. That kicks ass!! It sucks though because this weekend is costing us so much money. Granted I didn't have to pay for my dress but I had to buy Nathaniel's outfit, my shoes, the Spanx, have the dress pressed, buy the gift and card, pay for the hotel room, the gas for Jason to drive back from Arkansas to Wichita, from Wichita to Lawrence and back, and then back again to Arkansas, the tolls for every leg of the trip, and Jason will miss three days of work which is at least $150 a day. We're so broke it hurts and that's BEFORE all of this. I just want it to be over already.

Biter, biter, pants on fire

Nathaniel bit again at school today. He has issues with this other little boy in his class who is about 5 months younger than he is. Carson is new, he's only been there a month or so, and they have a love/hate relationship. In the mornings when Jason or I sit Nathaniel down for his breakfast pancakes, Carson always tries to take them from him. If Carson's doing something fun Nathaniel won't even sit down to eat, he wants to play. The afternoon teacher Jeraka told me a week ago that Carson is a troublemaker and when I asked who Nathaniel bit today she told me it was Carson again. I asked if they had problems and she said "Carson has problems with everyone". I looked at Carson's hand and he had a nice red bitemark from my little guy. I don't know what to do about this. Nathaniel did learn the word "bite" the other day in reference to eating so hopefully I can parlay this new knowledge into some form of discipline for biting other children.

On a lighter note, Nathaniel now puts his finger to his mouth and says "shhhhhh", something we didn't teach him but it's so cute!! He also laid his head down on his blanket which was on the back of the couch tonight and said "night night". He is now nodding his head "yes" as well which will go very far in improving our communication so I'm VERY excited!! When I ask him if he wants more he can now tell me instead of whining which is definitely nice.

Tonight Nathaniel ate well for the first time in a LONG time. He had three whole chicken nuggets, 1/3 of a container of yogurt, almost a whole mixed berry applesauce, two rice cakes, a smoothie and LOTS of milk. I swear that kid's drinking like a horse lately and has the diapers to prove it!!

Jason called and told me that when he leaves again on Monday it will be for another 2 weeks at least. He still hasn't asked if he'll be home for Nathaniel's first "real" Halloween or not and I'm pissed. He got angry with me and I hung up on him. Whatever. I know he's lonely and homesick but life's no bed of roses for us either.

Something to talk about.....

Something to talk about.....

My first real blogger blog, lol. It only took me 8 months to post.

Last night SP shut down forever. Before it did I went back through my posts about Nathaniel so I could create a timeline of his milestones (yes, bad mommy, that's what baby books are for but I'm lazy) so I thought I'd post them here.

February 15, 2006 ~~ Nathaniel's first steps
February 17, 2006 ~~ Nathaniel's first haircut (a chop job done by momma and daddy)
March 6, 2006 ~~ Nathaniel started walking
March 14, 2006 ~~ Nathaniel's first wave bye bye (on momma's birthday)
March 27, 2006 ~~ Nathaniel's first clap
April 1, 2006 ~~ The first time momma cut Nathaniel's fingernails (yes, I'm a coward)
May 13, 2006 ~~ Nathaniel's first professional haircut (aka, The Mullet)
July 18, 2006 ~~ Nathaniel's last bottle

Oh how my little man has grown........

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